Escape From California
by stormyskies73
Summary: This is Beck Pierce-McIntyre, coming to you live from the Golden State. I can't take it anymore...
1. Prologue

**Hi again! As requested by MASHlover23, this is yet another HEAIM fic! OK, this is the prologue, not the whole thing, but still.**

* * *

><p>In a war, your friends become your family, and that's fine. Then sometimes you stay in touch with your war family in peacetime, and that's also fine. But sometimes your peace family and your war family hate each other. That's not fine.<p>

Sometimes, though, you force your peace family to spend time with your war family. That's _really not fine._ That will never be fine.

That's how I, Beck Pierce-McIntyre, came to lose it in a Californian prison. OK, it wasn't exactly Alkatraz.

Maybe that would have been preferable...


	2. Objection!

**Update! PS I do not own M*A*S*H.**

* * *

><p>"They cannot do this to me!" I ranted.<p>

"Nope." Xanthe Bennet agreed, inspecting her hair for split ends.

"No way am I spending four days living with the Hunnicutts!" I'd tried everything to get out of it (even chaining myself to the gate), but to no avail.

"No way." she echoed.

"It's child abuse, that's what it is!"

"Uh-huh."

"It's not fair, it's not right...and you're not even listening, are you?"

"Not really." I groaned.

"Look, I don't see why I can't just stay with Mom and Cathy."

"Maybe because of the Great Toledo Disaster-"

"Which we do not speak of, Bennet." The Great Toledo Disaster, as it is known, is perhaps my most catastrophic misjudgement to date, putting me out of favour with certain members of Bostonian high society and designating me _persona non grata _inToledo. This wouldn't be so bad, but unfortunately it means that, at least for now, the rest if my family unanimously decided I shouldn't go back to Boston for a while.

"Sorry." She shrugged. "Maybe you could go to San Francisco with your dad and Dr Pierce?"

"But medical conferences are so boring! Bennet, _please _can you talk to your parents and let me stay with you!"

"I would if I could, Beck," she smiled apologetically, "but you know they hate you. They suspect."

"Since when have you cared?"

"I don't, but I'd really rather not help you field accusations." Bennet didn't just suspect the truth about my somewhat unconventional home life, she knew beyond doubt. It was a complete accident (I wouldn't be so stupid as to tell her), and I freaked out at first, but she promised she wouldn't tell anybody. Granted, it might be less to do with morals and friendship and more to do with the fact that anything her bigoted parents disagree with is automatically acceptable in her book, but I don't care. I appreciate the backup.

Sometimes, though, I think she'd rather not put the effort in.

"Look on the bright side," she continued, "at least you'll be leaving Crapapple Cove for a while." (That's not a misprint. She really does call it that.)

"Unlike you, I actually like it here." Although I yearned to travel, I was quite content where I was- unlike Bennet, who christened it 'the boringest little town in America' (ignoring the fact that 'boringest' wasn't a word), along with a variety of predictable parodies.

"If I don't see you before you leave, good luck."

"It's entirely possible I won't come back alive."

She hesitated a moment. "Can I have those shoes then?"


	3. It Has Begun

**Hi! So, about the rest of this story...it _will _be completed, but it mmay take a while since I've sort of been distracted from M*A*S*H by the awesomeness of Welcome To Night Vale. I'll still be updating this and Trapper Jeanne, but if I suddenly disappear for months that's why.**

**AAnd now, on with the show!**

* * *

><p>The following day saw me running after a car screaming something along the lines of 'NOOOOO! TAKE ME WITH YOU!' whilst a crowd of onlookers stared at me in bafflement.<p>

"Beck," Peg asked gently, "do you want to come inside?"

I glowered back silently.

"Come one." She place a hand on my back and began to guide me towards my doom. "There's someone who wants to see you."

* * *

><p>"BECK!" On stepping over the threshold I was assaulted by a small girl and a very violent hug.<p>

"Erin!" My happiness sounded fake even to me as I attempted to prise the limpet-like nine-year-old off me.

"I haven't seen you in _forever!"_

"You saw me eight weeks ago."

"Oh." she said, defected a moment, before perking up again. "Well, eight weeks is a really long time!"

She still hadn't let me go. I considered asking her mother to help me out, but Peg was busy in the kitchen.

"Erin, you have to let go now. I need to breathe!" Reluctantly, Limpet-Girl released me from her clutches. Being hugged by Erin Hunnicutt is akin to how it must feel to have a boa constrictor choose you to be its next meal.

And I was stuck with her for the next four days.

Joy. Even I can't find the good in that.

* * *

><p>By the time dinner rolled around, I'd had the air forcibly squeezed out of my lungs twice more, had ruffle my hair like I was Erin's age, and been called 'Becca' far more than I could tolerate. I needed an escape plan.<p>

The cogs began to turn in my brain.

For four days, I would subsist only on water. I wouldn't eat. I wouldn't sleep. Then they'd have no choice but to send me back.

I, Rebecca Pierce-McIntyre, was going on strike.


	4. Erin

**Hi! Finally I update! I'm not sure how frequently this will be updated, since I've sort of been corporeally absorbed into another fandom, so it might be a while. It will be finished though! Eventually. It'll probably not be as long as I'd like, but I'll try!**

**(Erin sort of hijacked this one. Sorry.)**

* * *

><p>That night, Erin slipped into my cell. Okay, maybe 'cell' is a little harsh...actually, I think it'll be fine.<p>

"Beck?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"Sure." _No, I am _not _'fine'._ "Why?"

"You didn't eat."

"I wasn't hungry."

Her eyes narrowed. "You're lying." She accused.

"No I'm not!"

"Yes, you are! Why would you do that?"

"I don't like it here." I said bluntly. "I'm on strike."

"Why don't you like it?"

"I...just don't." Somehow, I didn't think telling Erin I hate her whole family would go over well.

"Well, goodnight, anyway." She padded out of the guest room.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Hi! This is Erin. I'm not sure Beck would want me writing in her secret books so I'm just going to write on normal paper so she can take or leave what I'm about to say. <strong>_

_**Everyone treats me like I'm too young and innocent and female to understand **__**anything**_ _**but I understood a lot about what was up with Beck. She never liked me, I don't know why, all I wanted was for her to like me. But she didn't, y'know?**_

_**So when she said she didn't like it here she meant she didn't like **__**us**__**. **_

_**If I told Mommy or Daddy I was worried then they'd help her but I didn't think she wanted help and I didn't want to lose my chance of being her friend - even if that chance didn't exist. I was really worried though. There was only really one thing I could do.**_


	5. Click

_Click. Click._

I had to keep digging_._

_Click. Click._

"Beck?"

I spun around to see Erin standing behind me.

"What?"

"Are you trying to dig your way out of the basement with a spoon?"

"Nope," I said as I tried to hide the stolen spoon.

"Cos it won't work."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Uh-huh."

_Click. Click._

She stayed stood behind me, staring in a disconcerting manner.

"Please leave."

No movement.

"Now."

She looked at me with puppy-dog eyes before wandering off out of the basement.

_Click. Click._

"Do you...want any help?" An uncertain voice asked a few minutes later. I jumped. _How can she move that silently?_

"If you insist."

_Click. __**Click. **__Click._ _**Click.**_

* * *

><p>"So..." she began after half an hour of semi-companionable silence, "why are we digging?"<p>

"Because we are."

"That's not an answer!"

"Yes it is."

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Are we seriously doing this?"

"I dunno."

"Let's not."

"Then answer me!"

She wasn't shutting up any time soon. "Fine. I've given up sleeping and I'm bored! You have no idea how boring it is at night when you're not asleep!"

"Well, when I can't sleep I go down to the kitchen and I make myself a snack. Why don't you just do that?"

"Because I've given up eating."

"Are you sure that's healthy?"

"Nope." _Click. Click._ "That's the idea."

"I'm confused."

"Then leave."

"No!" A beat. "How long are we going to be digging for?"

"Til sunrise." It was a two-pronged attack. If I accidentally fell asleep or ate something then I'd still have an escape plan waiting.

"I'm tired."

"Just go to bed, Squirt."

* * *

><p><em><strong>It's Erin again!<strong>_

_**I was going to help Beck. That way she might like me more and she'd be happy. I don't know why she wasn't happy.**_

_**I don't know how making a hole in our basement was going to help, though... Oh, well. She's older than me so I guess she knows best, right?**_


	6. Exhaustion

Erin had been coming down to my basement headquarters every night and helping me dig. It had been nice to have help, and to have someone to listen to me rant, even if it meant she had to listen to me trash her parents. I'd complain about them. I'd complain about the AMA. I'd complain about the military. Whatever I could think of that I disliked I'd rant about it to Erin. And she always listened.

"Back again, Squirt?" I asked, still digging my way to freedom (and really thirsty).

"You need to drink something."

"I'm fine, Erin," I replied, swallowing down my minimal saliva. "Really."

"My dad's a doctor. I know what I'm talking about."

"So is mine, until the AMA finds out-" _You total idiot, Beck. _Maybe I was losing my mind from by abstinence.

"It's okay," Erin surprised me by saying. "My mom told me."

"How did she know?"

"Daddy told her."

"Who told him?"

"I dunno."

"We're so screwed."

"Yeah."

_Clink. Clink._

"Drink something, Beck."

"No. I won't."

"Beck-"

"I don't want a lecture. Clear off."

It was only a few minutes after Erin left that I collapsed.

_**I turned back to check on Beck a bit later and I found her lying on the floor unconscious.**_

_**I tried to tell her, honest I did! And I forgot what to do because part of me knew I had to get help but I couldn't just leave her there alone so I just stood there screaming until someone came.**_

_**I don't know if it was hunger or thirst or lack of sleep that did it, but she was going to be okay, I knew it. **_

_**If Beck couldn't do it no-one could.**_


	7. Epilogue

**I'm sorry this turned out way shorter than I wanted, but I just didn't feel I could do it justice anymore. Still, I think this chapter rounds it off nicely!**

**Thanks a whole bunch to: hippiechick2112; MASHlover23; Crazypixies; Paulina'sHM; and TGoerlitz for reading/reviewing/favouriting/following this.**

**If you like Virals, Welcome To Night Vale or Supernatural, some of my latest projects may be to your liking...**

**And now, on with the show!**

* * *

><p><em><strong>This is Erin again. I'll be taking over the story of what happened after Beck collapsed, seeing as she wasn't there.<strong>_

_**She wound up in hospital for a while - poor girl was pretty out of it, and couldn't think straight when she came to.**_

_**Dr McIntyre wasn't happy with her when he found out. Neither were Mrs McIntyre (although I suppose she isn't that anymore) or Dr Pierce. Apparently Cathy called her a 'complete idiot', which Beck was actually happy about. That seems to be how Cathy shows her love.**_

_**But the thing that really got me was how she treated me when she woke up.**_

_**She was actually being **__**nice**__** to me - I mean, she still called me Squirt, but not like she was putting me down over it. Like she was just kidding, and she actually hugged me before she went back to Maine.**_

_**I feel like she thinks we're family now.**_

_**And that makes me really happy.**_

_**I'm gonna post this to her so she gets it, because she'll want to include this part of the story when she writes it.**_

_**So Beck? Thanks for everything.**_

* * *

><p>I know we're not related, but Erin's right. We <em>are <em>family, and always will be.

She's not just the idiot girl who annoyed me for years, she actually tried to help me.

Bennet will always be my best friend (how would I live without her rants about how boring life in 'Horseapple Cove' can be?), and Cathy's a close second, but Erin's not awful.

So, here I end the story of the time I failed to survive in California.

Goodbye for now.

_Beck Pierce-McIntyre, September 15th, 1960_

* * *

><p><strong>The EFC Playlist<strong>

**West Coast Friendship **_**- Owl City**_

**Who Needs Sleep? - **_**Barenaked Ladies**_

**Dementia - **_**Owl City Feat Mark Hoppus**_

**Hospital Flowers - **_**Owl City**_

**Beautiful Times [Feat Lindsay Sterling] - **_**Owl City**_


End file.
